


A Very Sparkly Wedding, Starring Edward and Bella

by MelissaTreglia



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/M, Filk, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-06
Updated: 2010-05-06
Packaged: 2018-02-08 21:59:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1957602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MelissaTreglia/pseuds/MelissaTreglia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A filk I wrote in the LJ comm "whysofailsmeyer" when news broke that Bill Condon was hired as director for the Breaking Dawn film. The title, however, is a placeholder until I think of something better (or someone else comes up with a good one).</p>
<p>  <i>She wants to be a vampire, vampire / She wants to be a sparkly vampire!</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	A Very Sparkly Wedding, Starring Edward and Bella

[EDWARD:]  
All my stalking has paid off!  
Now those werewolves can lay off,  
'Cos my sweet Bella wants me  
And we'll have a half-vamp baby.

[BELLA:]  
Edward, I love you even tho' I hate my life  
But I didn't ask to be your new wife  
I want a deeper kind of commitment for us  
Tell 'em now, Greek chorus!

[CHORUS:]  
She wants to be a vampire, vampire  
She wants to be a sparkly vampire!

[BELLA:]  
What's this about a half-vamp baby?

[EDWARD:]  
It's in your contract, darling.

[BELLA:]  
Hmmm... you're right.

[EDWARD:]  
See? We get married, have a freak-child...

[BELLA:]  
And then I become a vampire?

[EDWARD:]  
Yup!

[BELLA:]  
Ok, that's doable.

[EDWARD/BELLA:]  
So we're getting married today  
A half-vampire freak child on the way  
Who knew of such a twist  
From an author who writes by playlist?

[CHORUS:]  
They're having a little baby, baby  
They're having a freaky half-vamp baby!

[BELLA:]  
Wait... won't having a vampire's kid hurt me?

[EDWARD:]  
Well, yeah... there's that super-strength bit.

[BELLA:]  
How bad will it be?

[EDWARD:]  
Oh... it'll just break your spine and crack your pelvis.

[BELLA:]  
Can we renegotiate my contract? I didn't sign up for this!

[EDWARD:]  
Too late for that. At least you'll be made a vampire right after.

[BELLA:]  
Um... well, I guess I'll do it. Not that I have much choice now.

[EDWARD:]  
So we're getting married today  
And honeymooning on Isle Esme  
'Cos the Cullens are filthy rich  
But I'll be happy as Bella's bitch.

[BELLA:]  
We're getting married today  
I should probably go hide away  
Having a chestburster for a young'un  
Is not my idea of fun!

[CHORUS:]  
They're getting married today  
Then it's off to Isle Esme!

[BELLA/EDWARD:]  
But just so the censors cut us some slack  
We're gonna have the picture fade to black!

[CHORUS:]  
Fade to black!  
Let the picture fade to black!  
We gotta fade to black!  
Now let's fade to black!

[...and it does]


End file.
